Open Tech Mind

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!".The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and Applause!!! A week later, a top manager trained by the Motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke At home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to His wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my Wife!" The wife went; "ahhhh!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second Half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!" By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water. Moral of the story... Don't Copy if you can't PASTE

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? - Hand me that... uh... whatever it's called ! - Oh no! I just lost my watch. - "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" - Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog! - Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. - Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before? - There go the lights again... - Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em. - Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! - Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off. - What's this doing here? - I hate it when they're missing stuff in here. - That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! - Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us. -You sure it wasn't this leg? - OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature. - Are his relatives waiting outside? - Nurse, did this patient sign the organ ...

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about: Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leav...

A French teacher was explaining to her college class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. House is feminine “la maison.” Pencil is masculine “le crayon.” A student asked, “What gender is computer ?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because: 1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2.. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3.. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and 4.. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it. The w...

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colourful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK." The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said : I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you." The Manager fainted.......

James Bond Style : The character James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by saying first Bond, then followed by great smile & finally James Bond. His style is absolutely killing but he doesn't know the consequences when he meets our great south indian guy. When Bond meets a Hyderabad guy James Bond : "My name's Bond...(smiles and then says).... James Bond." James Bond: "And you?" Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... James Bond faints!!!